


Reliving

by Lady Sarai (lady_sarai)



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Adventure Comics, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-14
Updated: 2009-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-05 08:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_sarai/pseuds/Lady%20Sarai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kon died.  He was <i>dead</i>.  And now he isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reliving

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I actually wrote these scenes for my Kon-lives! NaNo novel two years ago, but I haven't finished it, and now... Well, Kon is alive! In a much simpler way than what I came up with because I tried to be _realistic_. As realistic as being not-dead-anymore can be. ANYWAY, upon re-reading, these scenes fit together and work on their own, so I have edited them a bit and tried to make them fit with what I read in _Adventure Comics_ 1, and have decided to post them to celebrate the insane awesome of that comic. That said, I have no idea what Kon remembers from being dead, and if this isn't entirely canon-compliant... oh well!

Kon died. He was _dead_.

And now he isn't.

He could ask Kal about it sometime, the whole dying and living again thing, but Kal wasn't actually dead. Like there are degrees of death, and Kal was just _less_ dead. Or maybe just a little less _alive_.

It makes Kon's head hurt.

He wonders about talking to Donna, who seems really nice from what he can remember, but... From what he can tell, Donna wasn't dead, either. Just... reincarnated? Can goddesses be reincarnated, or is a body just... an afterthought?

If he wanted, he could probably talk to Bart, but... He doesn't actually know how dead _he_ was, either.

If Kon doesn't remember it, does it mean he wasn't?

Dead, that is.

~*~

 

Kon missed a season of _Wendy the Werewolf Stalker_ while he was dead, which sucks just as much as anything else.

It's a little eerie, though, watching it. The fact that his life is starting to mirror a television show is freaking him out a little.

Wendy spends most of the season moping about how her friends dragged her out of heaven, which is at least something different--because Kon doesn't remember heaven. And it wasn't his friends (well, non-Legion friends) who brought him back to life, but he tries not to think about that, and he really hopes there were no animal sacrifices involved.

That, and he sincerely hopes no one is going to conjure up a demon and turn his life into a musical.

Aunt Martha has a nice singing voice, but he really doesn't want her to start singing about the cows.

~*~

 

It comes back to him while he is sleeping.

Not death, but dying.

It comes back in vivid, excruciating detail. But there is no buffer in this memory. None of the mental preparation, no outrage and determination, no dim knowledge that doing what must be done could cost him this, just... pain. There is no adrenaline coursing through him; his body doesn't go into shock and block the pain receptors in his brain. He feels _everything_, all of it--the impact, the explosion, the landing, the shrapnel.

It is just pain. Intense, sudden, undiluted pain and the knowledge that his body has been broken beyond repair.

Kon wakes up screaming.

There are times when he wonders if Martha Kent doesn't have superpowers of her own, and if he was aware of anything but that phantom pain, he would have wondered it now. As it is, he lets her pull him upright and wrap her arms around him without any thought as to where she came from. He swallows his scream and feels her hand on the back of his head, holding him against her shoulder. She is saying something, but it doesn't register over the dim roar in his ears. He just pushes his face into her shoulder and closes his eyes, forcing himself to breathe. She smells like baby powder and laundry detergent and her voice is soft and even near his ear.

Kon clings to her as best he can without hurting her, and can't be bothered to care that clinging isn't something someone his age--whatever that is now--should do.

No one has ever come running to wake him from a nightmare before, and he has never woken from one to anything like this. He's never had a nightmare like this before, either. Now that he remembers, he knows that the actual act of dying _wasn't_ that painful--his body went into shock and the pain had been... muffled.

Dreaming about it in Technicolor pain was something Kon could have lived without.

She just holds him, rocking back and forth slowly. Her hand rubs small circles on his back and her palm is solid and warm at the base of his skull. He concentrates on her voice instead of the way his body aches with dream-memory. She shushes him, saying softly, "Shhh, Conner. My poor boy, it's all right. You're safe now, sweetheart. Oh, Conner, shh."

He let hers voice run over, into, through him. He doesn't realize he is making noises until her words penetrate the haze in his brain, and he chokes on something that might be considered a whimper. That choke knocks something loose and he grips her nightgown in shaking fists. He manages one word before a sob forces its way through him; he doesn't think, he just says it. "_Ma._"

Martha holds him closer and he feels her press a kiss to the top of his head. "Oh, dear boy. My Conner... What is it?"

Kon opens his eyes and looks at the small purple flowers on her nightgown. "I died."


End file.
